“Are you human ?
Then it’s likely you have committed some financial sins.
We all have.
And to compound this we generally feel horrible about it and end up being very critical of ourselves and the actions we have taken.
The important thing whichever way you look at it is to get out of the cycle of self blame.
The first step to escaping this dangerous negative loop is too think of these “financial transgressions” not so much as a financial sin or mistake but more of a financial adventure to learn a new lesson about money.
The next steps are a little more tough love but worth doing to move on from the trap of negative feelings which will continuously hold you back from financial freedom.
No more the devil made me do it
The common initial approach to managing the negative feelings that come from our money sins is to try and find a scapegoat that isn’t us. Before we are willing to face up to what we did and accept responsibility we tend to lay the blame everywhere but on our own doorstep.
it’s easier than acknowledging our mistake was our decision no matter how unconscious, because that means adding to the guilt and embarrassment we already feel.
We blame our circumstances, the economy, our parents, our friends, marketers and everything and anything that deflects from us.
Problem is, it gives us an escape route and an excuse not to learn from the mistake.
A lesson only becomes a true lesson when we are willing to take responsibility and learn from it.
When we are drowning in shame and embarrassment the last thing we want to do is tell someone else about it.
What will they think of us.
The horror of confession can feel like a very big hurdle to overcome.
But the truth is we all have our money dark places and if we keep them inside and hidden, their influence grows and their poison festers and tackling them can become hugely overwhelming.
Talk about it, put the sin into words and free yourself from the discomfort of dealing with it yourself.
Understand your motivators
A pivotal part of bouncing back from financial missteps is to spend some time on some non- critical self-reflection to uncover what beliefs fuelled your behaviour.
Your experience growing up was that spending more than you earned is ok, you believe you deserve it now or something or someone will sort it all out your finances in the future, maybe you will earn more or your partner, parents, insert someone will help you out.
Understanding what caused you to act the way you did starts to eliminate the possibility that you will unconsciously repeat the same mistake in the future.
Guilt is a powerful emotion and can be a forceful driver of action but it can also be a destructive emotion causing you to lose confidence and faith in your ability to do better with money.
To move forward from your money sins you have to forgive yourself.
Commit to a positive, powerful change
Firstly recognise that you have taken the first steps by acknowledging the mistake, understanding the cause and forgiving yourself.
This is powerful stuff.
The next critical step is to start taken the actions which create a more effective approach to managing your money.
If you feel overwhelmed, confused, or helplessly stuck when it comes to this part, get help. Speak to a money coach, a financial counsellor or a financial adviser and get clear on what you can do to build positive forward momentum from the lessons you have learned.
Ready to take charge of your money? Start by downloading the Financial Intelligence Roadmap for steps to build your financial confidence and financial stability.