“Love is not about how much you say ‘I love you’, but how much you can prove it’s true”
Have you ever been asked “What’s your love language?”
You may have come across this terminology given the cult nature of the ‘90s relationship book, “The Five Languages of love”, which attempted to make us more “love” fluent.
The five love languages were meant to be tools for us to understand what others need in a relationship to feel loved and as importantly, what we do.
And just as its fundamental to understand what makes us feel secure and confident in our love relationship, its critical to understand what we need to feel that way in our relationship with money.
The five love languages described in the book are affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service and receiving gifts.
If you are curious about what your language may be take this free quiz and then read on for how you can use this knowledge to improve your money relationship.
Love language number 1: Words of affirmation
Those of us whose love language is affirmation need to hear the words that acknowledge our worth.
A powerful way we can speak this language to ourselves is to create and repeat our own positive and affirming money mantras.
Money mantra’s are short powerful statements we can, and should, recite to ourselves each day to help us build our money confidence and attract all those good things we need and deserve to reach our goals.
Mantra’s serve as instructions to our brains, directing our powerful problem-solving machines to get to work seeking opportunities to make our thoughts real. Money mantras practised intentionally open us up to new perspectives while also expanding our creativity and innovative thinking.
If affirmation is your love language, money mantras are music to your ears.
Love language number 2: Acts of service
For some of us, to feel loved we need to know our romantic partner thinks about us and shows it through little gestures of kindness. The simple act of taking the garbage out, doing a chore we ordinarily do but didn’t get around to or buying our favourite chocolate bar is the message of love we crave.
If this is our love language we need to know our money is working for us. Seeing evidence of this makes us feel more secure.
The thing about taking all the right money actions and sticking to those healthy habits is that they don’t always show a noticeable change right away and this means we aren’t necessarily going to see evidence of our money’s productivity. The way to counteract what could become the “messy middle” where we sometimes loose a little motivation and question this seemingly one-sided relationship, is to set manageable milestones that show how these positive money moves are making beneficial changes in our lives.
Set a weekly savings goal and plan how you can achieve it, add a monthly investing goal that supports your saving goal and on a six monthly or annual basis check how all of this is adding to a nicely growing nest egg!
Watching your money work for you speaks your “little act of service” love language.
Love language number 3: Gifts
Contrary to what the word implies, those whose love language is “gifts” are not gold digging overly materialistic schemers.
They simply need a special something that makes them feel cherished and in this case it genuinely is the thought that counts not the cost or size of the gift.
When it comes to our money relationship, this love language craves evidence that the actions we are taking around our money will support us in reaching our goals.
By creating a specific allocation in our budget for weekly or monthly fun things and committing to spending it on ourselves in a way that makes us feel positive about the money actions we are taking and good about achieving our goals, we have first-hand evidence our money is speaking our “gift” of love language .
Love language number 4: Quality time
Spending quality time with their romantic partner is the language of love for those in this group.
And it will be the same way in their money relationship. Spending time dreaming up their money goals, checking their money flows are on track and planning their saving, investing and spending is precious currency for those whose love language is quality time.
And similarly our money loves our time and our undivided attention and the more time we spend effectively managing our money the more we will get out of this relationship.
Love language number 5: Physical touch
This love language is all about feeling safe, seen and adored.
In our world where digital currency is unseen, we can easily lose touch with the security of having money and if this is our love language having physical cash is vital to maintaining this connection.
Tony Robbins, the well known life coach says he always carries three hundred dollar bills in his wallet. He learnt this from his mentor, Jim Rohn, a similarly famous motivational speaker. Rohn taught Tony, that seeing these physical bills changes our money psychology by training our brain to think and feel rich. From this more empowered mindset we open ourselves to attracting more money and success!
Knowing your love language and using this to enhance your relationship with money can lead to a lifetime of financial bliss. Speak your money language of love and live happily ever after … or at least live financially confident and secure.